Friday, October 14, 2011

Zargana’s already cracking jokes

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Friday, 14 October 2011 23:51 Kyaw Kha

The popular Burmese comedian Zarganar was released in the presidential amnesty on Wednesday. Within hours, the jokes were flowing. Here is a sample:

‘I chat on Meebo [kitchen]’ (Chat also means cook in Burmese.)

Another charge is on Internet usage. Everybody uses the Internet nowadays, but the judge who sentenced me did not know about the Internet. It’s very funny. He asked me where did you chat with Min Ko Naing and Aung Din. I replied I had a chat on Meebo (kitchen in Burmese). He got angry. I had to explain to him this was the name of a chat website. He apologized to me that evening and said that he didn’t know about it. The judge who didn’t know how to operate a computer sentenced me to imprisonment on an Internet charge [under the Electronics Act)

Prominent Burmese comedian and vocal government critic Zarganar is welcomed by supporters upon his arrival at Rangoon airport following his release from prison on Wednesday, October 12, 2011. Photo: AFP

‘Not Gmail, I ask you e-mail’

The public prosecutor asked from my e-mail address at the trial. What’s your e-mail? I replied, “My email is thura61@gmail.com.” Then she shouted at me by saying, “I ask you for e-mail not Gmail.” I had to spend three years in prison for these trivial charges. It’s too much.
-Yangon Press International, October 12, 2011

Like singing ‘Are you sleeping, Brother John?’ by heavy metal singer Lay Phyu

The president once spoke about national reconciliation and then he announced this amnesty order. It’s like asking heavy metal singer Lay Phyu to sing the kindergarten rhyme ‘Are you sleeping, Brother John?’ It’s like putting makeup on a paralyzed granny. It’s terrible. I have no idea how to express my feelings. – BBC Burmese Service, October 12, 2011

Stop the storm for a while

One of the charges I was framed under involved the Video Act. I asked them why did you sentence me under this Video Act to three years imprisonment? They replied that my video clips included Cyclone Nargis hitting Burma. I asked them so what? Then they replied that I didn’t submit this clip to the video censor board. Should I submit to a censor board while the cyclone was devastating the area? I couldn’t say, “Hey, Storm, stop for a while. I have to submit the clips to the video censor board first.” – Yangon Press International, October 12, 2011

Like the Somali pirates

I am not pleased to see what they are doing. I’m frustrated, you know? They are doing it bit by bit, dribs and drabs. We are like the hostages captured by the Somali pirates. It’s like how much ransom money can you pay to secure the release of these hostages? – Mizzima, October 12, 2011

Amnesty with changed interest rate

By the mercy and metta [love] of the president, my prison term was commuted by one year to 34 years. Now I have served three years and five months. So it’s 10 percent. You know, the banks changed their interest rates recently to 10 per cent. I am included in this changed interest rate of 10 per cent. – RFA Burmese Service, October 12, 2011

Rotten fruits and shovel [Gawpya]

There are two thees with a Gawpya (shovel). [This joke refers to the comedy group called Thee Lay Thee which means “four comedians” with their names ending with thee. In a literal meaning, thee means fruit in English. Gawpya refers to another leading comedian in the group named Godzilla.] Both of these thees are rotten and then this gawpya was exposed. I have not talked to them yet. I only talk with other people. I will ask them frankly. I didn’t like their interview given to the media attacking exile politicians. I must ask them about it openly and frankly. If I am not satisfied with their answer, I will not be hesitant to sever relations with them. – DVB, October 12, 2011

“I won’t tell you jokes; otherwise they will be stolen by Thee Lay Thee” – RFA Burmese Service, October 12, 2011

Reliable fourth estate

They claim that the media has freedom of speech. In newspapers and journals, I found the words, fourth estate, fourth estate. As far as I know, after studying about them, I realized that this fourth estate is the Information minister himself. – BBC Burmese Service – October 12, 2011

Burmese MP

Einstein met with four persons. The first man said his IQ was 180. Then Einstein shook his hand and said, “Oh, it’s good. Let’s talk about quantum physics.” The second man said, “My IQ is just 150.” Then Einstein replied, “Oh, it is good. Let’s talk about the latest mathematic theory.” The third man said, “My IQ is just 120.” Then Einstein said to him, “Let’s talk about movies.” The last man said in despair, “My IQ is just 50.” Einstein replied happily, “Oh, It is fine. What did you say in Parliament?” – VOA Burmese Service, October 12, 2011

Don’t do Nay Toe (NATO); please do Pyay Ti Oo

(Both Nay Toe and Pyay Ti Oo are famous film stars in Burma)

I’d like to say to all people in politics. Please don’t do NATO, please do Pyay Ti Oo. I’d like to say this. Nay Toe (NATO) means “No action, talk only.” Please do Pyay Ti Oo. Please focus on your work and pay attention to nation building only. – RFA Burmese Service, October 12, 2011

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